Wednesday, February 11, 2009

I knew it in the first thirty seconds

How do you know that the movie you are watching is complete garbage and will never be remembered beyond three months of it exiting the theaters, except for in the circles of stoners around the country? I can't boil it down to a science, but for anyone that has I'm sure that Paul Blart: Mall Cop fits the criteria perfectly.
I will not judge this trashy "comedy" on the basis of artisticness, meaning lighting and camera angle, as there was basically none except to show just how large the West Orange pavillion mall is, so that must mean that they paid a huge sum of money to be featured in this film (yet another advertising film, right up there with greats like Talladega Nights and Click) but the story, which could have been solid, was far from it. The jokes were lame and the plot was nothing that has not been done with other dumb comedies that have an idea for a character, but no story to go with it. The entire movie seemed to be a whimy, fat guy joke. This is funny the first time you see it (in your life, not neccessarily in the film) but the director insists on milking it throughout the entire movie as if it were fresh.
What disappoints me greatly about this movie is not that it was made, but that it is so popular. All art is valid, but this movie has been number one at the box office more than one week. This proves the point of cynics that people are stupid. This movie about the faliure at life that comes out on top by saving the day (in this case from highly organized theives) is a disgrace to the genre of the underdog story because of the stupidity of how it happens. The only thing enjoyable about the movie is not the end, but that it ends.


  1. Strange that it is so popular, considering I've never heard of it. But, I've always prided myself on being out of touch with low-brow culture, so this gives me yet another in a long long line of reasons to be satisfied with myself. Your review is a thorough trashing, a kind of pinata game in print. Frankly, I never would have found myself actually drawn to see such a film. I trust for your sake that you only went because a date dragged you.

  2. Any chance you can rename this blog with just your name. so your comments on other blogs are more recognizable etc?